Introductions, ok, so you should have download code here for free music. 

I’m not documenting my sexual experiences for fun or to show off by any means, and that will become apparent as the story progresses.  I feel bad dictating the names and places with such specifics, but I know for a fact all this information would have become public knowledge regardless if I’d changed the names or not. 





I sat there in jail and wrote this 60 page manuscript by hand thinking I’d remembered everything from my life.  But I sit here typing it out and realizing vast spans of time I’ve left out.  It’s shocking to me because I was stone sober then and I’m high as a kite now. 





Blaine bicycle



So I’m hanging here at the end of my rope.  What does this story mean?  Fucking nothing.  I sat here and waited for someone to do the right thing but it never happened.  Why would I assume it ever will, or anything will come of this.  Oh, you didn’t like my first book and you are my wife or mother or best friend.  How clear was I when I told you I meant to sound like a crazy person. Tim Tebow



Anybody else married to someone with this crazy of a story, he is going to kill you.  The total lack of regard for my propensity to snap is astonishing.  Am I to assume they are so keen as to sense my mental state perfectly?  No, that’s impossible.  Anyone with any kind of training would see I have PTSD from numerous things.  It’s what I’ve had since I was a kid, not ADD.  smart they don’t seem to be worried



If god exists, he likes science fiction.





Nicolos stories



No hurt is worth dying for.  Everything can work out for even the worst situation.



Celebrities, listen up.  You are in charge here.  The government bends to the whim of the masses, and art imitates life and vice versa.



I mean, people have fucked her before she met me.  What’s the difference?





Why not just keep it to myself and bury it?  I’ve tried that and it hurts. 



You are not seeing Bigfoot, The extra dimension is in your mind. 



I kept it secret for years and continue to do so.  I’ll deny everything with such fervor and gather great joy by doing so. 



If she thinks she is happy maneuvering xray plates around the folds of fat for all the mobidly obese geriatric in the city every god damn day she’s crazy. 



I’m willing to hold a higher standard than her by not sexually interacting with anyone else. 





My world is crashing down around me and not one of you can help me.  I need a large group of people. 



Our new religions mantra was that if anything happens on December 21 2012, it will be caused by mankind.  There will be no act of god, no cosmic fart that wipes out the universe. 



Song lyrics and and album titles.  That’s all I’ve got



Do they remember when I said his next album will be called c is for insert sophomoric genitalia reference here? 



Do something go somewhere person.



Last chance to see douglas adams.



The weasely kid that overheard me talking about bombs.







So what does this story signify, and what is the correct course of action?  I don’t have a fucking clue, that’s why I was asking you, you dumbasses.  Not to think that for a second you might give a flying fuck, but what is the likelihood you could even have a solution.  I guess I shouldn’t assume the worst.  What about the power of positive thinking?  My only hope is that someone reading this book will get an inkling of an idea that perhaps they should investigate further. 







You sang about the world being devastated, and you were devastated to find you might have been egging it on all along. 





Fuck all of you.



And the rest is silence.











I’m so scared I’m going to break your stupid rules for words that have no basis in reality.  Fuck everything, especially tort law.


Ben harper & relentless 7 fly one time



Forever the sickest kids





Tapeworm

Tea party



Horrific nightmare world where we all live underground



That his son would have kidney stones.



Fuck you it’s not going to work.



Every song on c is for sophomoric is inspired by me.



Polar bear

Mission – song meanings

Vagina mine – just the song title.

Track 5 is all about me.

A bakers dozen is 2013



I think 1201617 refers to the fact that Obama needs to be re-elected



I’m going to act like I don’t know what you are talking about.  That it is some made up figment of my imagination.  That I’m crazy, and need medical help.  You could have Maynard come up to me with every news organization and I might admit.  He would say, “Isn’t it true the world is in a state of peril?”  and I’d answer, “Yeah, it kinda sucks.”  Giggle and then look at them inquisitively because what the fuck else do they want to know.  It’s pretty well outlined in the book. 



You know, I’m all about adventurous sex, but when it involves someone else’s feelings I don’t want to get involved. 



Tell your friends, check out this retard!  Stick your dick into my life until I fucking come.



Fuck all of you empty shells wandering around this lonely rock in space. 



You hear that BMW?  I love BMW’s.  They are the greatest car ever produced.  So free to hook a nigger up with some BMW love.  My son likes Ferrari’s, but let’s be sensible here. 





Stephanie complained to me about my behavior and told me to fuck off basically.  I’d already told Sara about Sparky years ago, but she’d neglected to mention it to her.  Not that she cares.  I’m not sure if she knows.  Whatever, thanks Steph, you are a true friend.



It’s easy for me to look down on everyone around me.  Like, What, you aren’t tasked by god to save the planet?  So you sit around and drink martini’s all day watching Today with Kathy Lee and Hoda.  No offense intended towards the fine establishment that is The Today Show.  I watch all 5 hours religiously.



Blow me Christ.  Suck it.  You suck.  If I’m to assume the God in which I have been baptized and confirmed has planned this for me as part of his master plan he can eat a cock.  I mean seriously, holy fucking shit.



Holy shit, Christ is burned into your French toast and the Virgin Mary’s eyes are bleeding.  How weak is that shit.  Come on you pussies, give me something I can believe in. 





I would have made Richard Dawkins look like a pussy fart.  I could postulate reasoning for the absence of god until he got the Masque of the Red Death





  I had never even seen the girl, but was quite cordial upon meeting her.



I wanted to keep the whole thing secret and she could be my confidant.  But I’m forced to publish a fucking tell all book in an attempt as my sole pathetic attempt to keep our family together.   The book is going to fail anyhow so what’s the point of any of this?  What’s the point of living if you can’t? 

Maybe this book is good, I can’t really tell.  I hadn’t read a whole one since High School and only read a few in jail.  You could possibly find out which books by evaluating the text contained herein.  But aside from those, I really don’t know what sells right now.  I don’t think I fit the demographic. I think I could easily write a variety of fiction.  How about the life that existed on Venus programmed a life form to genetically recreate their own DNA and shoots it to earth when their planet gets too hot.  We are the end result.  I dunno, I could make a compelling story that reflected back and forth between the to time periods as a sort of dichotomy.  Ok, so maybe that’s not the best idea.   I don’t know.  Whatever.  Fuck you.







 Attractive as she is, I didn’t put two and two together that the really cute girl I’d seen coming and going was her.



















  I was stealing things of value from some department stores, but I reserved the Shopko behind my school for cigarettes only.  This was before they were kept behind counters in Michigan.  I would walk up to the display and grab two packs



















It’s an understanding between me and you, forget everybody else.  Reference Gossip Heavy Cross


  In a message left taking credit for the devastation, Kramer Patton expressed extreme dislike of homeless people and politicians.  Members of the “Get Along Gang,” as they’ve been dubbed, appear to have begun planning this attack as early as 1994 when Mr. Patton was merely 14 years old.



Ok, I’ve devised a simple diagram to explain this to you folks because I have my doubts about some of your levels of comprehension.  Scratch the chart.



Brothers BBQ





Lively, you are a dumb cunt and forever shall be. 









You should all be fucking ashamed of yourselves.  You should feel uncontrollable remorse when you look at me or my family.  You should want nothing but the forgiveness that will never come.



It’s ironic that I’m doing what I needed to do with her consent while divorced and still living with her.  This is something that never would have happened if we’d stayed together.  She’d say, you idiot, you need to find a job and forget about your stupid stories. 























There is a distinct possibility that a bunch of people might want to kill me after reading this.  Maybe I’ll even get erased by the government





He had said some more things



Surgery on tongue, fucked up ball.



Subpoenaed





I told my dad about the economic shit that would happen, years in advance, and he did nothing about it, forgot it completely and lost out.



You want to talk about it with me?  I’m over that.  I can’t even do that comprehensively.  It’s become this shattered remnant of a life story

????Is she having sex with him now?

Was she having sex with him while we were married? 



The fifth utility

The czars

 

real men get their fact’s straight.



Jarret, if you realize that you missed me, and for some fucked up reason don’t make it on your own.  Look me up.



Sound just like trent reznor.



Polar bears



Puscifer?  You haven’t heard of them?  Perhaps you should pull your head out of your ass because they are putting out some of the best music of this decade.



It’s the way I feel everything I see.



Soundtrack to writing

Passion pit

Dom sexy in America my mix



I’m such a creature of habit, I’m off work on Monday, but still pace around like everythings great at 6:30 when I’d be off. 



Jungian collective consciousness, and I used it like processor sharing over the internet.  I often think there are large numbers of people that have experienced things almost exactly as I have, but that their notions are so dismally unimportant by comparison.  Like people waiting at a green light and watching a car whiz through the intersection, happy that they’d missed the green light because they would have been t boned.



Think of how different my life would be if I’d just told her the things I should have known.  I just trusted her to love me enough to believe it for love’s sake. 





For all your hiding and reclusiveness, the truth is nobody really gave a fuck about you until now.  Now you have a real reason to hide. 



The dad of the other kid walking down Marion and fighting at the Park Tavern. 













hit by car on bike


What the fuck am I supposed to do?  Write a shitty book like this one and die miserable and alone apparently.  I cannot express the profound disappointment I feel for every single person in this story.  I’m not angry, I’m shocked and appalled.  I just can’t believe that this is what is happening to me.  In a million years I never imagined this world to be as sad and selfish as it has become.  I’m a skeptical person and I love proving things as fact or fiction.  I would go out of my way to prove myself wrong if I was told this same story.  I guess it just seems so ridiculous it isn’t even worthy of proving in peoples minds.  I don’t expect anyone to really truly believe it fully, unless they themselves were part of the story.  But the people involved are either so desperately self absorbed or in denial that they fail to realize the consequences of their actions.  I said disappointed, but I’m really feeling like, Holy shit, what the fuck is wrong with you retards.  Look at it this way.  I’m doing every single thing I possibly can to expose the story and save lives.  Beyond that I dream of a united world without wars for land, money, resources, and especially religion.  I’m not out here encouraging puppy kicking.  What do they think they will look like when the truth comes out?  I know, perhaps the truth will never come out.  Maynard never publishes a book or speaks of it and everybody else remains silent.  That’s great, as long as nothing happens.  They can have the feeling that they took part in something great maybe, or that it was just some funny coincidental story to tell at parties.  Yay!  You are all heroes; angels on the sideline.  Ok, so what happens if even just one nuclear bomb goes off at one populated site?  My time frame is pretty specific though not exact by any sense.  Nobody will have read this book because it will be buried in legal action or simply ignored.  Nobody will ever know about it so who cares right?  At least they themselves will know.  That’s right my friends, you get to carry this with you.  I’m sure the devastations effect on your psyche will be more than you expected.  I can attest as I’ve lived it with 9/11, and not to downplay the terror that it wrought but it only caused around 3000 casualties.  Imagine for a second just one nuclear bomb.  Think tens, possibly hundreds of thousands dead easily.  Not to mention the long term effects of radiation on the surrounding environment.  How hard did they try?  They wrote a song?  Named some songs and albums about it?  How fucking cute.  By remaining stone silent throughout this whole ordeal they have shown great cowardice by inaction or perhaps just ignorance.  And if by some miracle this book does sell, people will believe anything even the most ridiculous stupid shit so I wouldn’t be surprised, you will face serious public ridicule.  So am I hailed as a virtuous hero?  Nope.  I just don’t see it happening.  Yeah, I tried a lot harder than any of them, but I still fall short of hero status.  I gave up hope and feeling.  I’m absolutely without a care as to whether it happens or not.  The way I see it, if it doesn’t I’ll feel good about myself for trying.  If it does, I can say, “See, I told you so you fuck shit morons.”  I read Dostoevsky’s Notes From the Underground as a kid, and I particularly liked his views on vengeance.  But in this particular instance my mental limits have been pushed too far and I no longer have a coping mechanism.  I see the death and destruction as vindication of my goals.  I tried and failed, mostly because everyone failed me.

So let’s suppose they chose to voice their support of me and my book?  Well, first off, people have to read this book first, otherwise nobody would ever know.  What they really should do is tell their friends, post it to twitter, call their fucking congressman.  Really all it would take is one tweet by Isaac or Maynard.  So what if no bombs go off, no attempt is thwarted, and no intelligence suggests any such attack was ever a possibility?  We can all say, “We did it!”  Or we look like fools.  I imagine they would be ridiculed right along side me if nothing happens.  Oh you poor babies.  Would that hurt your feelings?  Maybe then you could relate to how I feel now.  So what does it mean to them if they admit everything I’ve said is true?  If the bombs go off, either they look like heroes for trying to warn everyone, or they are blamed for causing it to happen.  Like I said earlier, people are stupid and will believe anything.  Logical reasoning would presume that I couldn’t possibly have known it was going to happen by pure luck, so either I had information as to who was doing it, or my cohorts and I were planning it all along.  I know it’s ridiculous to think of it now.  Famous rock stars planned nuclear terrorism; wanted to wipe out Jewish people and a couple random U.S. cities just for kicks.  Fuck man, stranger things have happened.  The Salem witch trails weren’t all that long ago.  Really though, is that what they are worried about?  I doubt it.  Most likely they haven’t put any thought into it at all.  They just don’t want people bothering them about it.  Special thanks to Sick Puppies and Foster the People.  Also, special thanks to the country of Mexico for this sixer of Tecate. 


My wife was just telling me how a good book needs to have compelling character descriptions so you can feel a connection with them.  Well, these are all real people, so why don’t you just Google them? 





You see all these shows, the mentalist, a gifted man, the one about the fbi profiler.  Movies like Next and the day the earth stood still.







Rotten .com





Sara was pregnant when I went to nicolos for a slice.







I got fired from Fat Jack’s for something.  





My visit with The Fray inspired me to write some more music, and I recorded a few tracks in the basement.  I got Sara to sing backups on one song after some serious prodding.  She says I criticized her through the entire process.









Interview on tv with the fray on local news.







I was so worried the drugs had killed my special ability.  I’m a fucking XMan.





People are so distressed with the ridiculous nature of the Christian religion, with all the molestations, and unbelievable beliefs in terms of scientific knowledge.  Everybody with a half a brain knows atheism is the best answer to describe our time on this planet.  But the real problem with that is that we throw away all the tenets of the religion that are so wonderful.  Like, don’t fuck your neighbors wife.  Hell yeah to that one.  Don’t murder.  Gotcha.  Don’t be gay.  Wait, what?  I’m not saying you can’t be gay, I’m just saying I strongly suggest against it cause it hurts.











And help out 30 seconds to mars because they are going to be really popular. 



I am not going to sit here and compare myself with prophets, or any key religious figure.  I can say this, I don’t believe a lick of the magic in the bible or any other religious texts.  I assume it’s all made up to tell a compelling story with an excellent moral message.  What I’ve done is real magic, and nobody seems to care.  There is no easier explanation than that God has dictated these things to me as a warning, to the world for their loss of interest in him.  Fuck man, but he can’t possibly be any of your stupid Gods.  Your gods are idiots, created by men with the same flaws.  The fact of the matter is if there is a god, it is one true god.  Joseph Smith and Jesus don’t play craps on the weekends, and whether or not you go to heaven, hell, purgatory, nirvana, or are reincarnated is not determined by who you pray to.  I mean this shit is so self-explanatory to me. 





When you finish a book you want that sense of conclusion and closure.  Or of course


A Cataclysmal Poet to the reefer.

O Thereafter Cataclysmal Poet

The cataclysmal reefer to a poet

O to Fête the Cataclysmal Reaper





Uneasy lays the head that wears a crown.

















U is a pussy. That’s right.  I guess maybe nobodies asked you?  Sorry, but that doesn’t count, that’s a half-assed way of feeling like you did everything you can.  I told him that if he helps me in any way we’ll look like we made it up.  Sorry folks, this is not an april fools joke. 



























































































































Every time in my life that I’ve told someone I’m psychic is in here.  I’ve never been wrong, and I’m not leaving out the times I wasn’t right.  If anybody claims I said something along those lines and it’s not in here, they are lying.







































































































Why would I want to hurt Maynard?  He is the penultimate hope for my story being justified, why would I ever want to impede that?  I have to walk on eggshells regarding me communicating with him.  



















































































































Anything I’m saying right now would work.





I said I’d face every trial and tribulation imaginable to prove that you can find joy beyond the suffering.  I said I’d be married with a kids, and get divorced because she wouldn’t believe me.  He said, well, just tell her what you told me.  I said I needed her to believe me because she loves me, not because she hears me state the future.  I said if she can’t believe me because I told her it is so, then there is no love.  I said I’d be destroyed by the divorce.  I also knew I’d repress the memories.


During my time as a couch surfer, I thougth I might try to reconnect with my old flame.  She had a sweet row house right near the park taver. I had hooked up with her for about a week years prior, and then left claiming I would only bring her suffering.  Im sure it would have been bad based on my relationship with my ex wife.  When I came back to see here, I invidted her to see the the open mic, but she never came.  I seopped by eery once and a while, evne going so far as to tell her the story aboutManard..  The las time I came by, her boyfriend was there, and they were roasting chestnuts on an open fire.  Wkward.  I never came back.  Roasted chesnusts are terrible by the way.









Fiddlers Crreegn Coors Aphitheatre. 



I saw tool play at fiddlers green, or coors amphitheater it went by then around 2006 or so.  It was a terrible venue and I’ll never go again.  I wasn’t interested in the show I wanted to contact maynard.  I left the arena eraly, and hung out by the tour busses.  I passed out copes of a terrible demo to so semi driver and crew, basically anybody who would take it.  I had assembled a crew of fands and autograph hiounds waiting to poince at the first sight of him.  We found the ext and as he Wakled out, one of my group went running after him yelling his name over and over, and he quickly ducked into a car and drove away.  I waited at the entrance with some girl from boston, hoing to follow the tour buts to it’s next destination, ut I couldn’t hang and dropped her off at her car nad went home.





So I get out of jail.  In jail, I decided to give my car to some chrystal meth user so I don’t have to pay a huge impound fee. 



Seriously, there isn’t much good.  It’s been 5 months since I got out of jail. 























NOTES:

I criticized the drummer, and he said he needed a good drum coach.  I suggested



Told maynard about my BMW 97 automatic.

Maynard built studio in his house.

Told him 1201617 jan 20th not sure what year



































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